I was mad at my students today. And yesterday. And the day before. And before that too. We are working on an essay. I teach it step by step. I show them examples of what I expect. I give them forms to fill in that make it very clear. I give them class time to work on it after I model the proper outcomes. And they don't do it. And then on the day they should be typing, they are starting at step one of 6. Class period after class period after class period. And then they all need help at the same time doing those steps I taught them about a week or two before. But are they patient? NO. Do they roll their eyes when I help another student before them? YES. Do they walk up and just start asking me their questions while I am sitting next to another student, mid sentence, trying to answer another's questions? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.This happens every time I teach writing. I am usually OK the first few class periods, but by 4th period on the second day (B day) I am DONE. It doesn't help that 4th period on B day (essentially 8th period for those not familiar with a block schedule) is my naughtiest class. Naughtiest = lowest average grades of all my classes. Naughtiest = rambunctious, disorganized, unprepared, most immature of all my classes.
But just when I think I will explode with frustration, Heavenly Father has somehow blessed me with the ability to make myself laugh unexpectedly. He uses my own words against me. And laughter, as most of us have come to know, is the best medicine. Let me paint a picture for you:
It is Tuesday. 2:20 pm. Cedar High School Writing Lab. There are about 20 minutes left of the school day. Three boys - Dillan, AJ and Kirby - are still working on their outlines though they should be typing. They are not allowed to type until all of their pre-writing is done. AJ has barely gotten past picking his topic after being gone for a week. Of course I have chided them more than once as they continue to waste time. In fact, I chided the whole class before we even got to the computer lab in an effort to prepare them for my wrath at this point in the day. So I am livid when I see them essentially playing keep-away with a stapler. My mouth opens. I am about to smite them to the ground with my quick and biting remarks. And then I see it. While AJ prepares his usual "it's his fault" excuse, his partner in crime Kirby will not make eye contact. This is just the fodder I need for my verbal lashing. "Really?" I say - after all, I have already been nagging them for the last hour. "You're not doing anything wrong? You were just GIVING Dillan the stapler?" (Insert here a weak assortment of excuses from three nervous 14 year olds)
"You know how I know that that is not the case? Kirby won't even look at me. He knows all the fires of Hades are beaming out of my eyeballs right now, burning him to the core of his soul."
And that's when it happened. I start to crack a smile. At the words. And then all of the 'oohs' and that followed my storming gate to the boys on the other side of the room turn to chuckles. And then, as I realize I'm in trouble and breaking my formidable facade, I have to say that I am only laughing because otherwise I would be crying. But mostly I know I've pretty much lost any hope of being the bad guy. I still "banish" Kirby and AJ to the "netherworld" of the classroom and nurses office to finish their already-late assignments in isolation, but I instantly feel better somehow. And the next kids I help don't get such harsh responses from me. And the kids after that come to give me high fives because they figured out for themselves what they were supposed to do next when I wouldn't tell them what to write when they got stuck (because they didn't do it a week ago when it was assigned and I was angry). Where those words came from I don't know - fires of Hades? core of soul? - or at least, I don't know for sure. But if you're like me and believe in tender mercies, the kind that keep you from damaging someone else's day or the ones that keep you from quitting your job when sometimes it stinks but it's really your calling in life, then hopefully you believe in a Father in Heaven who isn't too great to know that sometimes the best remedy for a bad day is the laughing kind.
