Blogging is an interesting world to step in to. It is most often used as a public brag book, though you will find the occasional serious subject matter, political commentary, and book reviews. When I don't blog, it's usually because I don't really feel I have anything to brag about. It doesn't mean things aren't going on, nor does it mean that there aren't a million things going on in my life or head - funny and not so funny. Sometimes I try so hard to think of meaningful things to commentate on that I have a brain meltdown and have a complete block of anything to say. Other times, which has more recently been the case, I don't feel like I have much that's positive to say so instead of saying anything that's not nice, I don't say anything at all. And in this way I have stripped the blog of its intended purpose. A blog is a way of sharing information and communicating with others - the good, the better, the best, and the downright ugly muggly. We don't all have good days. In fact, we all probably have more mediocre, bad, and boring ones. But my personal relationship with blogging has turned into this creature of persuading others that my life is so fun and exciting...because that is what I predominately share. But I am here to admit that my life is filled with insecurities, sadness, and often overwhelming feelings of inadiquacy. I don't presume to say that brag-book moments are shared for some sneaky or deceptive reason, nor that we should discontinue doing so as these are the moments that make life worth living and they should be shared with those we care about to celebrate life with us. I share pictures and stories for the same positive reasons that all who share these do. But there is also a side that I don't share, and any honest reporter of integrity (because isn't that what all who blog are? Reporters of their lives?) shows an unbiased willingness to show all sides of a story.
So there. I've said it. My life is not as charmed as I'd like others to believe, and for the past few months I have felt sad, lonely, tired and confused more than I've felt anything else. I don't know why I feel this need to stop hiding behind my blog, but I do. We are entering summer, the braggiest season of them all, and I will be more guilty than most this go-around. But life is a lot more than the brag book, and instead of pretending that's all that is worth talking about, here is my declaration of the normalcy of my life.
3 comments:
You know, as I have been listening to all the fun trips all the teachers are taking over the summer, I feel that my life is the epitome of normal. I'm going into full fledged soccer mom mode. I like blogs to see that there are some who are like me, but also to have the chance to share the joys or frustrations of others for whatever element of their life they choose to share. So please, share the normal frequently, as many of us truly enjoy the vicarious experience.
Oh, E, I love you and miss you and look forward to your thoughs--regardless of the brag-worthiness (though I must admit my excitement at your forthcoming blogs post-trip). Keep writing. You are good at it. And lately, I need to give you kudos on the pictures. You've been finding the perfect thing to illustrate what you've been writing about.
Erin, I just love you, you know that!? You make me feel so much more normal! I have to admit, half the reason I've had such a hard time starting a blog is because I've always thought "Who wants to hear about my uneventful life?? I have nothing interesting to tell!" Anyway, I love to hear your stories and just think you're great!! Thanks for sharing!
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