Kids do the darndest things!

Over the years there have been many hilarious blurtations that have taken place in my class periods. I am forgetting many of the things that have had me laughing for days. In an effort to preserve the events, pranks, and blurts of my students (and since this week added a new "funny" to the list), here is a post that is dedicated to some of them:

- Coming into my classroom after lunch and all the desks are facing the back of the classroom.

- Coming into class after lunch and finding all of the desks, my chair, my keyboard, and everything else on my desk tipped upside down.

- Coming into my class after lunch and finding all of my dry erase markers, pencils, stapler, and mini-Brett Favre bobble head (pre double retirement) taped to the ceiling. Tape is also across each line of keys on the keyboard, as well as covering the bottom of my mouse and covering the opening of the tissue box.

- A dead silent classroom. A 170 point final test over a novel. A sudden outburst of laughter. Everyone looks to Tara, this year's resident Sassy Spice, and I ask a simple "What?"

"'Circle the correct answer.' Like we'd circle the wrong answer."

You'd be surprised, Tara. Very very surprised.

- A student teacher places an engagement photographs on the overhead, demonstrating various points about how photography can be symbolic. In the photo, the groom-to-be is holding the bride-to-be. We see only his back as he looks across a lake to the mountains in the distance. She looks back at the camera - and us. Student teacher: "Him holder her is symbolic of his feelings for her - that he will always take care of her." Trajan: "If he doesn't take care of her, I sure will!"

- "Ms. Hensel, I know that people from Canada are Canadians, and people from Mexico are Mexican, but what are people from the United States called?"

- I pull the overhead plug out of the outlet and the grounder post is still in the socket. Despite my students telling me that there is no charge going to the grounder post and that I can just pull it out, I step to the phone to call Fernlee, the head maintenance worker - No one is getting electrocuted on my watch! I turn back toward the class just as Dylan is on the floor, fingers pulling at the grounder post, convulsing. I scream and and instantly start crying as I watch what I think is a 14 year old being electrocuted. Seconds later he falls to the floor laughing at me, along with the rest of the class.

- Opening my desk drawer after school to grab a pencil and almost grabbing a tarantula that had been lovingly placed there by a student. The tarantula was dead. I didn't know that.

- The homecoming football game, 2007, just happens to fall on my birthday. My friend and co-worker Wayne Decker finds out and has it announced over the announcements that morning. As I leave the football game later that night and pass the student section, the entire student body sings "Happy Birthday" to me. I may or may not have started crying.

- I'm on the phone in my classroom after school talking to the oral surgeon about the upcoming procedure I will be having. Three male students stop by after baseball practice to say hello. Just as I am asking about the implants I will be getting. DENTAL implants. They didn't hear the 'dental' part.

- Realizing that one of my students is the nephew of a guy I was madly crazy for in college, and while trying to give him some 'dirt' on my former crush without letting on that he was indeed a crush, unintentionally slipping too much info.

Me: "Tell him that I found out that he made out with my sister!"

Jace: "Wait. Why do you care if he made out with your sister? Did you kiss him?"

Me: Silence. Instant blushing. what do i do. WHAT DO I DO????

Jace: "OH MY GOSH!!! YOU MADE OUT WITH DIGGER" (notice how he has already exaggerated the information).

Me: "No! Wait...!"

Jace: "I can't WAIT to ask him about it! I can't believe you were almost my aunt. You were almost my AUNT!!! That's SO COOL!"

- I have a date on a weeknight. We will be heading up the mountain to go four-wheeling. I stop at his place of employment, which is on 'Burger Alley' in town, to change. Three students see me and do the natural thing: they park behind me and wait. But I don't come out wearing the same clothes. I don't come out alone. And I don't leave in my car. As we are waiting to back onto busy 200 N, I see three heads ducking up and down behind the dashboard of a pickup truck. Seconds later I recognize one of them, and then all three of them. They hang out of the truck window laughing at me and pointing as my date and I pull away. The next day, and just about every day for the next TWO years (no joke) I get asked about George. It doesn't help that he comes to school with a bouquet of flowers a few months later during class (which happened to have one of the original three in it) to embarrass me because I told him about it. The date was five years ago. I still get asked when I see those now graduated students.

- MaKenna stands to present her project on the black plague at the end of our Shakespeare unit but holds it close to her chest until the very end. When she finally shows it to us, there are two live mice (primary culprit in spreading the black death) in a shadow box. She finishes and sits down. 10 minutes later, she looks down to see one of the mice squeezing out between the 'breathing' gap she leaves for them. The other one is gone. We did eventually catch it. Eventually.

I'm sure I'll remember more. I'm thinking of some already, but I need to pack for my holiday travels bright and early in the morning and haven't started yet. I hope my trip down memory lane was entertaining (especially for you, Michelle!). Merry Christmas everyone!