I've had a tough teaching year. I could blame it on lots of things, some of which are my fault and some that are not. I have a few class periods that I like and a few students that I absolutely adore, but let me just say that I am not sad to see a major chunk of these kids move on. Who it is hard to see move on often times is students that I taught years ago, the ones that are graduating. Because I teach 9th graders, I often have these students at their neediest and most brainless. I somehow manage to keep my sanity while helping them gain theirs. As they get older, I watch as they come into their own, finding success in their social, athletic, academic and extracurricular lives. Some of them continue to talk to me, but the majority move on and even stop saying hello in the hallways. Part of me aches for the days when we had inside jokes as class periods, would laugh and tell stories, but I also understand the need for them to move on. I think some of them don't realize how much I still care for them and their success, so they stop acknowledging me because they think that I don't care anymore. I'm sure a lot in all actuality do not care. But there are always the ones who don't forget, or after a year of the silent treatment work their way back into hello's and teasing. Of this year's seniors, there were a lot of girls that I really got to know, girls that are smart and beautiful and talented and good and motivated. Girls that will accomplish things in their lives, whether that be in their homes or in academics or careers. About a year ago, one of those former students started to greet me each morning with "Team Hensel!" I'm not sure why, but she stuck with it. As students often do, they swear they will do something for me to remember them by - a gift or some such thing. Most don't and I don't expect them to, so when Brittany said she was going to make a Team Hensel t-shirt for me, I smiled and said my obligatory but unconvinced "Cool!" To my surprise, she actually did. I wear it and smile. I will keep it, along with the doodles and notes and series-finale "Lost" party supplies and thank-you cards and senior pictures that I've collected over the years, close to my heart, a heart full of the marks of hundreds of the best former students ever.
2 comments:
That is amazing. I love this description. It is so perfect. It is true that they never know how much you care. They also never know how much those things (like the shirt) do mean to you. I love it! They are so lucky to have you, caring for them, thinking of them, praying for them, even when they don't know it.
This is so cool, Erin. So great that the girl made the shirt, and even greater that you are such a good teacher (whether you feel that you are or not). Regardless if they reach out to you in friendship or not, I know your students will remember you for your caring, your humor, and your emotion, whether it's while reading To Kill a Mockingbird or offering them help with their work. I remember thinking my freshman English teacher was kinda crazy when I was a freshman, but now that I'm grown up, I think of her fondly and how much she must have loved her job to do some of the crazy things she did. And I never forgot those crazy things. I never told her that, and since I am friends with her of FB, I probably should (would that be weird, to hear from a student 20 years later that thought you were weird at the time, but now realize how cool you were?...and don't judge my gramatics there...I know it is horrendous). The point I'm trying to make is that you obviously have touched a number of students, and maybe even more than you realize because some don't know how much you've impacted them yet. I'm glad you get a glimpse in the present every now and again though!
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